By Chris Nixon
Union-Tribune
August 23, 2007
Marilyn Manson's adventures in Wonderland led him from the depths of despair, through the looking glass and the surreal world of red carpet celebrity and into a newfound period of growth and self-realization.
In the past five years, the singer-songwriter-producer-filmmaker survived a failed marriage to Dita Von Teese, the blinding lights of celebrity photographer flashbulbs and a general loss of direction in his music career. But it was during the writing of his upcoming film – a Hitchcock-esque psychological horror film titled “Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll” – that Manson regained his identity as edgy rocker and boundary-pushing artist.
“This past year – before, during and after making this last record – made me realize a lot about self image and a lot about belief in yourself and identity,” said Manson recently from a hotel room in New York City. “I was in a period where I almost decided to not make music anymore. Then I started working on my script about Lewis Carroll.
DETAILS
Marilyn Manson with Slayer
When: Saturday, 7 p.m.
Where: San Diego Sports Arena, 3500 Sports Arena Blvd., Midway District
Tickets: $50
Phone: (619) 224-4171
Online: www.ticketmaster.com
“ 'Alice in Wonderland' in itself to me is a story about the search for identity: the girl getting smaller and bigger, and she doesn't know her name. I know now looking back that I was more than just fascinated with those things.”
Through retelling this tale of self-discovery in his own dark manner, Manson stepped away from the red carpets and the premières. He rediscovered his artistic mission: mixing mediums with his macabre take on Gothic, industrial rock.
“I started to stray from what was most fitting for me in life,” the 38-year-old singer said. “I was starting to feel obligated to fit into certain parts of the world that I don't want to. I wrote about that in a song called 'Red Carpet Grave.' It's no fault of my ex-wife's. I feel like I was expected to be more predictable or conservative in some strange sense, or just more tamed down and not being the person that I really am in order to signify my dedication and my love.
“I felt like I had to fit into this ideal role that is expected by society when you're married, and that's how you prove how you feel. The way I prove how I feel is by making music.”
Like the “shock rockers” and performance art musicians before him (Alice Cooper, David Bowie), Manson – who took his name from the buxom blond actress Marilyn Monroe and the guitar-strumming cult leader Charles Manson – used gender-bending attire and Gothic horror makeup to create an image to go along with his music in his striking videos and live shows. But for the past few years, Manson (the singer) had been in a rut. His marriage collapsed, and he went through a bit of a breakdown.
“There was a period when I didn't want to leave the house,” Manson said in his gravely voice. “I didn't really like being me. I started to feel like being me wasn't something that I had to do anymore. Maybe I didn't have anything left to say in music.
“A lot of the things that I represented seemed to become apparent to the rest of the world or seemed to become stylish to the rest of the world. It took me regaining my idea of who I was, essentially through making this record (this year's “Eat Me, Drink Me”), to realize I liked being me and I don't mind the idea of maintaining something important and powerful, in my opinion.”
Chris Nixon is a San Diego music writer.
