shuttlecock ballyhoo and other true stories

Honestly, I'm a little bored with the title "freelance writer." I've been working sans regular paychecks for a modicrum of freedom during the past three months, so I should be able to dictate my job title, right? Henceforth, I shall refer to myself as "expert towel boy, soft-shoe specialist, tuneful laundry engineer, geriatric cat caregiver and badminton critic at large." I appreciate you granting the first of what is sure to be a long list of wishes, cn